I feel like I don't know how to write anymore. (This is one of the reasons why). So for today I'm just going to randomly put some thoughts together. This will be disjointed.

I've decided the next time someone calls me a faggot I will call them Ann Coulter. That's a much harsher, much nastier insult. I'm happy to report that a few advertisers have pulled their ads from that vile bitch's website, and a newspaper in Pennsylvania has dropped her syndicated column. I live in a rather active bubble of political news and activity, so I have no idea how much real coverage this story has received, so if you have no idea what I'm talking about, start here.

In other news, Ronald Reagan is still dead. Dick Cheney, however, seems to be indestructible, what with bombs going off and blocked arteries in his legs and yet he just keeps going like the energizer bunny. If only the US Constitution were as strong as Cheney's. Not that I wish him harm--I just wish he'd resign from the office of VIce President and live out the rest of his hopefully many long years behind bars receiving frequent visits from his daughter Mary, her wife, and their child. (Question to self: Are war criminals permitted to see their grandchildren?)

Speaking of babies, I want you all to know something and to hear it directly from me before you see it on CNN: I am the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby. My lawyer advises I say nothing further.

Speaking of movies, I saw Half Nelson. Kind of a crap movie, but okay. Fell into way too many indie-film potholes. But yes, Ryan Gosling was terrific in it. And so hot.

If you hate the war, like piano songs by contemporary composers, and want to cry, watch this:

Sorry Mom and Dad. A fix is coming soon.

I'm going to Italy this fall with 15 of my closest relatives. Holy Balls are we gonna have fun! And I'm getting so excited. I've just started doing my homework about all the art I'm going to see in Florence.

I went to Karaoke Saturday night. Jennifer and Sarah were visiting from London. I've had amazing knock-down drag-out karaoke nights with each of them before, but never together. We had dinner at Freeman's first, where we waited about 10 hours for a table then loved our meal (whole trout!). My friend Alex was with us, and I hadn't seen him in a dog's age, so it was reunions all around. After that we headed to Sing-Sing on St. Mark's Place (proximity to my house makes for easier drunken stumbling home!). Jay and his brother Mark got us a room, then some dude named Dominic showed up for a while, and a splendid time was had all around. My greatest hits of the night: Fleetwood Mac's Second Hand News, Talking Heads' Life During Wartime, and twice through Buddy Holly's (Paul Anka's) It Doesn't Matter Anymore. But nothing will ever top the showstopping, all harmonizing, all emotional, all room-quieting, all tear-jerking rendition of Endless Love that Jennifer and I sang. And yes, I sang Lionel and she sang Diana. It was the loveliest duet of my karaoke career. Thanks, Jennifer! More pictures here.

The next night the two London Ladies, Adrienne, and I enjoyed a fabulous meal at Pepolino (fettuccine with rabbit!), then drinks at Bar89. Both are perfect New York nights out. There simply is no better Italian food in New York than Pepolino. And I get to eat there again this Saturday for Penny's birthday--huzzah! On Sunday I met up with them again at The Met. (Jennifer, you can continue our abbreviated tour of the American Wing here). We saw the Old Masters, except for Rembrandt, the Moderns, the Contemporaries, a lovely trio of hipsters in sweaters and big glasses, and a medieval gate or two. This was followed by a brisk walk down windswept Fifth Avenue, where we saw a llama, passed Harry Winston, ate chestnuts, stopped for a Happy Picture of the great new Hearst Tower (Sarah, please send!), stopped for another picture of me in a warm fog (Jennifer, please send!), and then turned right onto 44th Street then right again into the Algonquin Hotel for a drink at an octagonal table. Paula joined us. Lovely.

Work's eased up slightly now, so I intend to update more often than I have been. So yeah, I guess I'll be seeing you on the Road to Ruin....